Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
