Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
