Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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