I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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