there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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