i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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