party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
