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• (917): View more from New York City

  He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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• (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye

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• (954): View more from Florida

  i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

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• (714): View more from California

  They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I've just been napping and sexting all day.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  Probably on drugs.

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