At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do vagina's smell?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?