I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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