just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The Olympian is in my bed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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