Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.