its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.