everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf