a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.