Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
