Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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