she looked like the before picture.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
