did you get engaged???
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
