Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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