there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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