Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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