I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
