yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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