I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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