i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
