Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
