I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
