What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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