Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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