My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
