Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
