I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
