I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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