I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
