Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
