break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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