I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
