Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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