Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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