I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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