your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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