the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
