I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize