is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
