Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life