Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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