My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
