yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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