Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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