I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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