we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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