We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's shark week go big or go home
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
