a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
