I can tuck mytits in my pants
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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