Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
