Tell her she can't have a vagina
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
