Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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