pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
