Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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