Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
