This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
