i think my tv is drunk
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize