I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize