I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
