Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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