i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
