Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
